Lead by example

Occasionally, I will post “mom stuff.” This is, after all, Food Geek Mom!

Being a parent is tough. I know y’all are saying “duh,” but I mean it really is. Even when you think you’re doing it right, you could probably be doing it better. I honestly thought if my kids could take anything away from what I teach them, it was to never make someone else feel bad. I know i’ve reiterated it over and over. We do not make others feel bad on purpose in this house (well, at least that’s how I parent and model myself). I have spoken to them, previously, about if they see anyone being mean to anyone else in school, please tell a teacher right away. Instead, I get a note home about how Cole is excessively talking and needing lots of redirection, AND how him and other kids were being mean to a girl in another class.

I was floored. I can’t even describe the immediate emotions I felt as I read the note. My child is intentionally being mean to another child? and a girl? What kind of Southern gentleman is mean to a girl? I am not raising my kids to be mean to others. I spoke loudly to him about how disappointed I was in him. I feel so let down. Then, as is my son’s fashion, he says how no one likes him and how we’re mean to him and he’d rather die. Really? I don’t play this game so I just say “up. I hear ya.” He replies, “don’t you care?” “Of course I care but killing yourself is a MAJOR sin, child”.  He nods and is crying. This is normal in our house… everyone plays the martyr. I explain he needs to speak up when someone is being mean. He said his friends have  threatened him if he didn’t say something mean or tattles. I explain then they aren’t his friends — friends would never do that. He cries and says then he has no friends. That is probably true. He tries so hard to fit in from the clothes he wears (which I pick out and make sure he looks good and in style with his classmates), to the sneakers to his deodorant to the food he brings.  I grew up, similarly, with very few friends so I get how he feels.

I hate seeing him hurting. I hate not being able to make it all better. I want the world to look at my children and see pure joy & love. I want them to live for serving others and do it with a smile in their heart. I want the best for them. Being a parent is tough on days like this when you go over how you are raising them and teaching them and thinking of what they are modeling themselves after. Parents are supposed to lead their children. We raise them UP not chop them DOWN. We should parent by example and know they are always watching so we need to be the best we can be so they can be the best they can be. Leading by example takes BOTH parents which is tough. It takes self-reflection and noticing maybe the things we hate most that our kids do, are things that we ourselves do. You step on your own toes. It’s tough to be a parent but if you are a GOOD parent, you are able to see what you are doing wrong and willing to fix it. so you can be the best example you can be.


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